reinje's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Beiseschweit I mean. I could have cleaned better than that. But far be it from this fundie Menno to judge. Who am I kidding?? Judging is what we do best. So on a day like today, when I'm slightly grumpy, it's like going back to my roots to criticize my slightly cleaned house. There are spots on the faucets! And all over the shower! But, praise be, somebody did refill my toilet paper roll. Even though it wasn't yet empty. Well, I guess that's what you get for waiting around for two weeks for the cleaning crew to arrive. The thing about it is, in a weird way all of this cleaning and opera stuff has started to feel different to me now. It doesn't seem to matter so much anymore. I care about how I play, of course, but there's a change in the air. It isn't apathy and it isn't despair. It just is what it is. Clean or dirty. It just is what it is. Back where I come from, you are taught to be aware of the sinful nature. No drinking, dancing, smoking, swearing, playing cards. No anything, really. So by the time you really express yourself, it's usually in a manner filled with rage (if you're like me), followed swiftly by shame and guilt. Not dusting the chair legs? Guilt. Talking back to parents? Guilt. Moving a bit to the beat? Guilt. There is even a Plattdietsch term for wine coolers and such demonic libations: Beiseschweit, which means "the Devil's Sweat." We used to hear about it on the radio nightly from 9:00 to 10:00 pm. Fortunately, I don't know that much Plattdietsch, so I didn't know what I was missing. As you can imagine, judging is one of the Community's favorite pastimes. So it's hard for me to come home and see a half-cleaned house. Or for that matter to forgive myself for a half-cleaned house or a half-learned score. But the winds are a-changing. Something in Reinje doesn't want to live that way anymore. I feel like I might implode, just writing that sentence. How can Reinje not be "rein"? I guess we'll just have to find out. In the meantime, I'm sucking back the Beiseschweit. - Reinje 11:19 p.m. - 2005-06-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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